Since leaving the corporate world and starting my own business, I feel like a part of my mind has been freed up. I never thought of myself as a creative person. I always told myself that I'm a numbers person and that's just the way it is. I'd never be a writer or a shakespearean actor, and that's ok. Now that I'm not sitting at a desk, crunching numbers, I'm probably still not going to be a creative writer or a shakespearean actor. But I feel like my mind has been freed up enough to explore some other things that I admired only from afar.
One of those things was Improv Comedy. I thought it was something that you had to be highly trained at or be wired a certain way in order to be successful. I was a big fan of the show "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" and I had a huge crush on Wayne Brady <swoon>. I was always in awe at what they all could do. One evening, I was having porch wine with my neighbor and he said that he's been taking an Improv Comedy class. He told me where and said they offer a free sampler class so you can try it out and see if it's for you.
This was also while I was about mid-way through Disability. I brought it up at a therapy session that I was going to take a class to see if I liked it. My therapist's eyes lit up. "Oh my gosh, this is exactly what you need. You need to be in an environment where you have a good support system and it's OK to fail. Being able to 'Yes, and' and there being really no wrong answer will be particularly freeing."
I went to the sampler class. It wasn't exactly what I was expecting but we did exercises to get out of our heads. For example, I had to point at a clock and call it something else or call it the last thing I had pointed to. In order to do improv, you have to retrain your mind. You have to get out of your head. I realized that I was enforcing rules upon myself that were never really there to begin with.
So I started taking classes. I've had a lot of up and downs while taking the class. There were (most) days where I thought, "What the heck am I doing here? I'm so bad at this and doesn't someone just be honest with me and say I don't belong here" There were days where I thought I may have a knack for it. I took all the Improv classes that were offered at the school. Each class was about 8 weeks long and always ended with a showcase for friends and family.
In the meantime, I joined the Rec League because I wanted to "play" more and get more practice. It is a league where you basically spend the time to practice all the improv games and we have a show once a month. The shows were "competitions" between the blue team and red team, where we'd play improv games against each and the audience decides who wins. I'd get up and do what I needed to do. To say that I am out of my comfort zone is an understatement. There were times where the spotlight was on me, the music was cued, and I had to come up with song lyrics on the spot based on an audience member's suggestion and sing a song. What???? I'd get through it and I thought I did OK. But I still am sweating bullets when after the show, we all congregate in the back room and receive our notes. I'll sit there with my stomach turning and my head in the hands and listen to them. I was always pleasantly surprised. I had positive feedback? Sure, I get feedback about what I could improve upon and I love that. I am always shocked when I'm not told that I looked like a deer in the headlights and I made no sense at all. I actually get more positive feedback than not. I still have my bad days, where I think I'm in a rut and I should just give up. But I keep going and do my best to get out of my head for the shows. I tell myself that it's OK to be. uncomfortable and it's OK to be a little scared. I've also made some new friends that I never would have otherwise.
I also took a Comedy Sketch class offered at the same school (think Saturday Night Live). I had a great time in that class. It was a little less scary because you can hide behind a keyboard. The showcase wasn't too scary either because all the hard work had already been done. We had a table read of our sketches and had the best time bringing them to life with our voices. I even got to do my Swedish Chef voice. The Swedish Chef is by far my favorite muppet next to Animal.
The one activity that I already was doing but suffered a bit was Taekwondo. I had received my black belt in October 2022. Soon after I went on disability and started plotting my new business. I struggled a bit because there are many triggers that happen in a Taekwondo class. When sparring and I have someone's gloves flying at your face constantly. Not to mention when I have to go against a male color belt and they see I'm a female black belt, they all of a sudden feel like they have something to prove. There were times where I had to go sit down.
But then I started my business and it was very physical! I was exhausted at the end of the day. I kept making excuses not to go and then I'd fall behind and only got frustrated that I wasn't progressing as I should. I texted the Master that I think I have to quit. I'm too tired and I probably really can't afford it anyway. He texted back that he understood how I was feeling and it was normal to feel like that in my position. He asked me to come in and talk with him in person. So I did. He said he didn't want me to quit. I had come so far and that I'm good. That right there was probably enough. He had me at "I don't want you to quit." That he actually cared enough about me to have me come in and talk to him. To tell me that I would be missed. We came up with a plan and I've been trying to stick to it. I've become more conditioned to being physical all day, that going to Taekwondo isn't as much of a chore. In one year, I should have my 2nd degree black belt.
I've also been tutoring math at a middle school in my neighborhood. It keeps my logical mind sharp as I explain math concepts to kids. And they are for the most part so grateful. I did this while I had my job as well but I could tell my boss wasn't thrilled that I was doing it, even though it was over my lunch hour. Owning my business has given me the flexibility to block off my calendar and go volunteer and noone can make me feel bad about it. However, I am getting busier and I worry that I won't be able to do it again next year (I hope so). But it may lead to another income stream.....
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