I got a text from an old friend that she was coming through Richmond and wanted to meet up for coffee, if I could make it work. I said I could. But I was nervous. It had been about 10 years since I’d seen her. There was probably a reason for that. I decided to go into the visit with a positive mindset but I knew I’d have my guard up. I talked about my business. She told me about her job. We talked about the difficulties we had in the corporate world. We were having a great visit. Then I brought up that I had started doing Improv Comedy and I was scheduled to be in a show the next day. “Get out! Really? That’ll keep your brain sharp.” There it was. The dig. She didn’t think what I was doing was mentally stimulating. Maybe she didn't think I was sharp enough to pick up what on she was saying.
I was getting it from my parents as well. My dad said it was a step-down. Ouch, dad. My mom lamented that she has two children with advanced degrees who are doing jobs that don't require a high school diploma. It's not really about you, mom.
I know I'm not suppose to care about what other people think. And I don't. I'm doing what I want anyways. It's still something that I have to navigate through when people make their backhanded remarks. How do I respond? Do I even try to change their minds? How do I have a productive conversation without seeming defensive or too sensitive? With non-family members, with whom I don't think a conversation would be productive, I can just not have contact with them. That's easy enough. Done. With family members, it's a bit more difficult. I kinda have to talk to them.
I brought all this up with my therapist. My therapist has a big dog that sometimes joins us on the Zoom call so she understands very well the value I bring to the table. She says anybody that would say that probably hasn't had to rely on someone to come into their home while they're not there and trust that they're going to do the right thing if something goes sideways. Plus, you need to put yourself out there, and communicate with people in a certain professional manner. You're the CEO. You're the project manager. You're the marketing team. You're IT. You're the admin. You're the accounting department. Plus, there's nothing more intellectually stimulating than prioritizing your mental health. She's right. I like her. There's hardly a day where all I do is play with dogs and kitties all day. But still. How cool is it that I get to play with dogs and kitties all day?
I've always done other things to try to keep me curious about world and try to be a well rounded individual in general. I read books in German. Always. I read (at least) the headlines in an online Austrian newspaper so I have some sort of clue as to what's going on over there when I visit. I'm a bit obsessed with US Presidential History and I love listening to podcasts about US Presidents and First Ladies. And yes, I do my improv comedy that requires a good amount of focus. Am I going to want to sit down, push up my glasses, and have an intellectual conversation about my thoughts on all the world's problems and bullet point what I think should be done about them? Probably not. It's not that I'm not capable. It's not me. But I will want to sit you down and bullet point why everyone should adhere to a vegan, plant-based diet and how that will actually make a lot of bad things go away like famine, pandemics and cancers. I still resist doing that because I hate making people cry and I wouldn't have any friends left.
Being an actuary was challenging work for sure. I loved the work. It was everything else that I had a hard time with. Being a female in the corporate world was not easy and hasn't gotten any easier. The work being intellectually stimulating or not, I would often go back to my desk and wonder what the hell am I doing there and felt everything but intellectually stimulated.
For the most part, people have been great. They've been envious that I've made the move. Some have even private message me asking me how I went about it. Some have called me brave or inspiring. In my mind, I really had no choice. I did have to put my mental health first. It's not mind-numbing work. I do a fair amount of communicating with the animals and their humans. The humans often ask me my opinions of all sort of things, including my thoughts of their four legged's quality of life and end of life options. I try to give my opinions as thoughtfully as possible, with the animal's best interest in mind. What I may lack in intellect, I try to make up for with intuition, empathy, and life lessons learned. I've been told I'm good at sensing when something is wrong and picking up on other people's energies. I try to capitalize on that. Only pet owners know how important it is to have a competent, compassionate person caring for their animals while they're away. And I want them to want me. My 50% needs to be better than everybody else's 100%.
So in summary, don't let something like a perceived lack in prestige keep you from following your passion and prioritizing your mental health. My only regret is that I didn't do it earlier but I can't really worry about that. I joke to my therapist that it was my mid-life crisis that made me do this. She keeps telling me to stop calling it that because it's negative. It's a new phase in your life where you let go of all the things that held you back and embrace the things and people that genuinely allow you to be who you are. Yeah, I like her.
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